Mr. Friedman, I’m kinda freaking out right now and can’t bring myself to go to my high school prom tonight because I’m just too worried about the Presidential election in Egypt. But they’re gonna pick the guy we want and everything will go back to normal so I can go on Birthright this summer, right?
- Ashley, Altadena
Mr Friedman, if I can’t tell the difference between my brothers Ahmed and Mohammed, should I refer to both of them as “Ahmed-or-Mohammed”?
Mr. Friedman, is it your broad shoulders that allow you to so gracefully bear the White Man’s Burden?
- Budiwati, Jakarta
Mr. Friedman, I have a question for you about professionalism. I’m sitting in a panel at a journalism conference. What is the proper etiquette on using your iPhone as a mirror when performing the feminine arts?
Mr. Friedman, as per your suggestion, NATO bombed my father back to 1389. Is there any way to recover him?
Mr. Friedman, have you ever had that not-so-French feeling?
- Erin, Spokane
Mr. Friedman, has there ever been a war between two states that both have strip clubs?
- Masha, Kiev
Mr. Friedman, you inspired me to become a practicing Fayyadist but today I find myself alone and questioning my faith. How can I believe again?
- Suzette, Ramallah
Mr. Friedman, my Ethical Compass is broken. Can you help me fix it? Better yet, can you be my compass?
- Hillary, D.C.
Mr. Friedman, how can I acquire a German work ethic?
Mr. Friedman, I just broke my vase to get rid of the rancid water inside, as you suggested. But now my vase is broken and there is rancid water all over my kitchen floor. Also, the vase was a very valuable family heirloom. What did I do wrong?
- Salma, Baghdad
Mr. Friedman, how does one get from Beirut to Jerusalem?
- Jawahar, Shatila refugee camp
Mr. Friedman, Google Maps tells me it should only take 21 minutes to get from where I live to where I was born, but it didn’t ask if I was Palestinian before calculating the travel time. Can you please email Larry Page and ask him to add roughly six and a half decades to this algorithm? Thanks for everything you’ve done for us.
- Dalal, Dheisheh